Viva Mexico

Enough about surgeries, recovery, and treatment … I just realized I never posted about our vacation last month! We spent 5 days at the Oasis Tulum in Mexico. It’s located just over an hour south of Cancun and is known for some of the most beautiful beaches in Mexico. Jonathan and I had been planning a “post-treatment” vacation since last fall and finally decided on this resort, we also decided that little man was going to go with us. I know some people thought we were crazy for taking a toddler to Mexico but you never know what tomorrow holds and I wanted to make sure I was able to share these memories and celebrate the last year with both of my boys. He did amazing and loved every minute of the trip. We feed the fish in the ocean, took a boat trip, saw the ruins, watched a fire show, swam, drank “smoothies”, ate ice cream almost every night, and saw all kinds of neat animals. Here are some pictures from our trip…

Post Op Report

In the words of my awesome OB, my hysterectomy went “perfectly”!  The surgery took about two hours and after spending what seemed like the entire afternoon in recovery, I was moved to my private room at the SurgiCenter. If you have to have surgery, the SurgiCenter is the place to be. My room was way nicer than a hospital room – private, flat screen TV, carpet, leather chairs and since I was the only overnight patient that day, one-on-one care from the nurse! They sent me home Friday morning and I spent most of the weekend in bed or on the couch with my pain medication within reach. By Monday, I no longer needed pain medication and by Tuesday, I was back to driving and getting out of the house. I spent the week working from home but after my follow-up appointment a week and a half later, it was life as normal. That’s the benefit to having this surgery laparoscopically and not abdominally. At this point, I’ve haven’t experienced many side effects from the surgery but they are sneaky and can take some time to show up so we’ll have to see. 

On June 10^th, I received my last infusion of Herceptin. This officially marks the end of my chemo treatments!!! I will continue to see my oncologist every 3-4 months for the next year and will have another CAT scan in six months. My oncologist said she was optimistic about my long-term recovery but please continue to pray that I remain cancer-free!

Pre-Op Breakdown

A few weeks ago a friend of mine asked how I was handling my upcoming surgery, without hesitation I said, “Fine.” I mean, why wouldn’t I be, I made the decision to have this surgery, no one told me I had to. That all changed this week, during my pre-op appointment it took all I had to keep myself together while I was in the doctor’s office. I was able to make it out of the building and into my car before I completely lost it and cried the whole way home.

 I was fine the whole time I was with my OB discussing the surgery but that changed once I met with the nurse to do my paperwork. I don’t know what happened but from the moment she opened her mouth I just wanted to cry. Maybe it was the fact she raved about my hair, how cute it was, and how she always wanted to cut her hair short but just couldn’t do it. I said, “thank you” with a smile but I really want to yell “I didn’t choose this hairstyle, it’s this short because I cancer and it all fell out.”

 It could have also been the fact she told me I couldn’t eat solid foods starting the morning before my surgery and nothing the day of. My surgery is scheduled for 1pm, so that means 30+ hours with no food. I looked at her and asked, “no food for 30 hours?”, she smiled at said, “you can have jello.”  Really? Was she serious? If you are worried that I might be a bit cranky after the surgery without hormones in my body, try being around me when I can’t eat, it’s not pleasant!

 At this point, I had also been at the doctor’s office for almost 2 hours, which didn’t help the emotions I was feeling.  Next, she scheduled my post op appointment for June 4^th, the doctor said he wanted to see me 2-3 weeks after not 4 days, couldn’t she read the form?  So I had to wait for her to reschedule that appointment.

When she asked me how I was going to pay my account balance, I said, “excuse me”. Since my oncologist and OB are both part of Physicians East, they require me to pay any outstanding balances prior to surgery.  It wasn’t that my balance was extremely high (I have pretty decent insurance – one of the few perks of being a state employee) or that I couldn’t afford to pay it, I think it was more of a shock that they wouldn’t perform my surgery if I didn’t pay. As I handed over my debit card, I thought about patients who couldn’t afford to pay, would they be denied care? Besides, I’m still a patient being seen every 3 weeks for active treatment it wasn’t like I had owed them thousands of dollars and hadn’t been seen by the doctor in months.

It could have been any number of things that afternoon at the doctor’s office but, let’s face it … it was me just facing the reality of my surgery. We chose not to harvest my eggs, prior to treatment, for many reasons but mainly because it meant that I would have to delay receiving treatment for 3 or so months. With a fast growing tumor that had already spread to my lymph nodes we didn’t want to take the chance of waiting. What good would my eggs be if I wasn’t around to carry them? Even if my eggs made it through chemo and are still viable I would have to wait until after I finished my 10 year course of tamoxifen before I could get pregnant. That would put me at 44 with a 14 year old trying to have a baby… no thank you!

I thought I had made peace, early in my treatment, that more biological children were not going to be part of our future and some days I’m perfectly fine with that decision, other days I’m not. It’s not that I regret the decision we made, I have been blessed with the most precious, adorable, funny, sweet, little boy a mother could ask for, I’m just angry that I had to make a decision like that. No one should have to make decisions like that, cancer just sucks! And while I’m super excited for everyone that I know having babies, I’m also a little jealous because I know that won’t be me and I’m reminded again of this shitty hand I was dealt.  

Cancer is an emotional roller coaster, as you can probably tell from this and some of my other blog posts. One day you are upbeat and positive, the next you are crying on the way home from a pre-op appointment, for no good reason! I try every day to have a positive attitude because that’s how I’m going to beat this but sometimes the reality of it all is just so overwhelming.

Catch Up

It’s been a busy couple of months in the Williams household so I’m going to try and give you a quick update on everything we have been up to …

The biggest news was the result of my CAT in April scan showed NED (No Evidence of Disease)!!! I was so anxious waiting for those results but couldn’t be more excited about the outcome. The fear of a recurrence is always with me and at the most random times can be so overwhelming but I’m doing my best to stay positive! I have decided to have a hysterectomy and have scheduled that surgery for May 30^th. Having this surgery will eliminate the estrogen that my body produces and since I was slightly ER+, in theory it will help to decrease my chances of a recurrence.

In March, I along with a group of friends participated in the Dirty Girl Mud Run in Raleigh. It’s an un-timed 5k obstacle course that helps raise money for breast cancer research. It was a COLD morning so they actually drained two of the mud pits; I am definitely dirtier than I look in the pictures but not nearly as dirty as I should have been.

Aiden played soccer for the first time this spring. While he enjoyed himself, I don’t know how excited he is to play again in the fall. He loved to run just not after the ball!

We took a quick over-night trip to the Outer Banks to visit the Beach family while they were visiting for Easter.

I participated in the Survivor's Lap at ECU's Relay for Life. It was certainly an emotional event but I'm so glad I did it.

Since Aiden will be attending a new school in the fall and I am teaching online this summer, we have decided to pull the lil man out of daycare. He is going to spend the morning at Rose’s Gymnastics so I have a few hours to get my work done then he and I will get to spend the afternoons together! I’m so excited to get this time with him before he starts school.



What's Next?

Now that I have finished radiation, this seems to be the question I get most often after “How are you feeling?” So here’s the plan … I will continue to get Herceptin through June. I’ve been receiving this drug since my treatments started last year and there are no side effects. It’s a quick 30 minute infusion every 3 weeks. Right after radiation was over; I began taking Tamoxifen and will continue to take it for 5 years. The side effects are similar to what a women going through menopause might experience. Thankfully, I haven’t had any issue yet and fingers crossed, it stays this way! I have a 20-25% chance of reoccurrence so I will have a CT every 6 months with the first one scheduled for April 1^st.  

This is the plan my oncologist has put together for me; I have a few other items to add to it …         1. Prayer – I’m going to continue to pray that I can put this battle behind me. I have fought and won, and will be forever changed because of it, but it’s not a battle I want to face ever again. 2. Be Positive – It’s very realistic that I may have to look cancer in the face again but I’m not going to let that fear take control of my life 3. Celebrate – We are taking a family vacation to Riviera Maya, Mexico!!! We have had one hell of year, so we are going to spend some time relaxing on the beach and creating wonderful memories with Aiden!

What's Happening?

I cannot believe I’ve gone almost two months without blogging! The only excuse I have is that it’s been a busy two months!!! Here’s a quick rundown of what’s been going on at the Williams House …

·         Halloween … Aiden was the cutest doctor in Greenville and had a blast trick-or-treating with his friends from school.

·         My ultrasound showed only residual parts of the blood clot which meant no more blood thinners  and that I could go back to eating normally and enjoying the occasional beer.

·         We took a trip to Crewe, VA to celebrate Granddad Clay’s 99^th Birthday!

·         Three weeks of physical therapy to help with my range of motion in my arm after surgery.

·         Participated in the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes in Raleigh to support one of our amazing friends!

·         Aiden has his first field trip to Briley’s Farm; mommy went too!

·         I finally had my JP drain removed … 4 weeks after surgery!!!

·         Thanksgiving visit from Grandma Kay, the Keyes, and the unwelcomed flu like crude that left me in bed for most of the weekend.

·         Aiden’s first ECU Football game.

·         Started radiation

·         Went to see Disney on Ice

·         Hosted a Cookie Exchange Party

·         Celebrated Jonathan’s Birthday

I’m handling radiation fairly well. My skin is starting to look red, like I have a sun burn and I’ve been super tired. I recently read that radiation brings with it a fatigue that no amount of sleep will help and that’s exactly how I feel, always tired no matter how much I sleep. But it’s nothing that stops me from being able to carry out my normal routine. I’m halfway through radiation and looking forward to the end! I promise to be better with my blogging and keeping everyone up to date with what’s going on around our house.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

I Kicked Cancers Ass!!!

I had my follow up appointment with Dr. Habal this morning and received the best news possible … I have had a complete pathological response!!! What this means is that there was NO EVIDENCE of cancer in anything that was removed during surgery. My lymph nodes and breast tissue all came back negative. This is the best possible response we could have seen – I really did kick cancers ass!!!

The doctor preformed a lumpectomy and also removed 13 lymph nodes during surgery. I still have my JP drain attached, which mean no driving or work for another week.  I’ll still need radiation and have an appointment with the radiologist next Friday to begin that process. I’ll continue to receive Herceptin for the next year. Because of the type of breast cancer I had, this medicine is crucial in preventing a reoccurrence. The side effects of this drug are nothing like those of my other chemo meds. In fact, my hair has already begun to grow back!

Dr. Habal also removed my port during this surgery. I have a follow up ultrasound on Monday to assess the blood clot in my arm. Hopefully, it is gone and I will no longer have to take Coumadin and I can return to a normal diet that includes greens and beer!!!

Thank you all for your support, love, and prayers. We could not have made it through the last few months without it. We are so blessed!!!

Kiss Chemo Goodbye

I am officially DONE with Chemo and I couldn’t be more excited to be past that and onto the next step in kissing this cancer goodbye! I met with the surgeon this morning and everything is in place for my surgery on October 19^th. I handled the last round of chemo better than any of the others.  I’ve been feeling great these last few weeks which is great since we have been BUSY!!!

Our Pirate Crew friends came to visit and we all went to the ECU/UTEP football game. The weather wasn’t so great but the company was and we had a great time.

We attended the ECU Alumni Association scholarship auction where we won a birthday party at Rose’s Gymnastics for ill man. He is so excited even though his birthday is months away! That event is always fun and a great way to support the new generation of Pirates! Last weekend was full of birthday parties and baby showers – I love being able to celebrate our friends, we are so blessed to have them in our lives. We were even able to squeeze in a trip to the fair. Aiden had a blast riding all the rides, especially the cars. He even enjoyed his first funnel cake!

 

I’ve given up on posting my “30 Pins of Summer”. I’ve been trying all kinds of stuff from Pintrest but I'm so far behind in posting it isn't even worth it at this point. We managed to decorate for Halloween and pick some pumpkins over the weekend so I am planning to post about the Pintrest décor ideas I used.



In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month remember to perform a self-breast exam. I'm the perfect example of how beneficial they can be!

Surgery & Bunco

With only one more round of chemo scheduled for next Friday, I met with Dr. Habal this morning to discuss surgery options. Since the tumor has shrunk, we have decided to go ahead with a lumpectomy, for now. Once my skin heals from the radiation, I am going to have a double mastectomy and reconstruction.  If I have the double mastectomy prior to radiation, I would have to wait a year or two for my skin to heal before I could have the reconstruction and I don’t want to wait that long. Dr. Habal will also remove the lymph nodes and my port during the surgery.  Once the port is removed I will be able to stop taking blood thinners! After I recover from the surgery, I will have radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks. If everything goes according to plan, I will be done with radiation before Christmas!!! My surgery is scheduled for October 19th, the day after Bunco for Breast Cancer.  This event is presented by Greenville Women’s League and proceeds go to Gardeners for Hope Breast Cancer Fund. The Gardeners for Hope Breast Cancer Fund distributes money to patients in eastern NC currently undergoing cancer treatment to help purchase wigs, prescriptions, health products, lymphedema treatment and supplies, or aid other financial needs of patients. When I joined GWL last year, it was to help others. In the past 5 months, this group has provided my family with a tremendous amount of love and support. I’m so lucky to be part of such an amazing group of women and to participate in such a wonderful event. If you are in Greenville and would like to attend this event please let me know, I have tickets! If you are not in Greenville, you can make a donation!

Trend Setting, a New Class, & a Visit with the Greats

Shortly after I was diagnosed, I read an article that said the head scarf was the *NEW* fashion trend for the summer. I knew the trend would never make it to Greenville but it still gave me hope that it wouldn’t just be women facing cancer that were donning scarfs!

If I’m at home I don’t wear anything on my head. Other than the boys and my parents, only handful of people have seen me bald. If we are expecting company, I usually have a scarf on. It took me awhile to be comfortable enough to wear a scarf and not my wig out in public. But, while I may be comfortable with a scarf, I think it makes others uncomfortable.  Wearing a scarf is an outward sign that I am sick and some people just don’t know what to say or do.

You don’t need to do or say anything; just treat me like you would if I had my long, brown, curly hair; like you normally would. Normal is good, I’m not constantly reminded the battle I’m fighting. If you have been where I am, it’s okay to say so, I welcome talking to other patients or survivors. If you have questions, ask me, I’m a pretty open person. Please don’t stare, give me a weak smile, or sad puppy dog eyes; that what makes me uncomfortable.

I’ve been dealt a shitty hand and so have many others that have faced cancer, it sucks! It’s an everyday struggle but in the end I’m going to be a stronger person for having fought and won this battle. And I’ll have a cute collection of scarfs for when the fashion trends does hit Greenville!

Round 5 is tomorrow morning.   I’m super excited to say I have made it the last 3 weeks without an unexpected visit to the doctor! Plus, one of my many awesome cousins is making the trip from Jersey to spend the day with me in the chemo room.

On another note, my sweet boy moved up to the next classroom at school last week. He has done so well with the transition and we are both loving Ms. Bethany’s class. Here are some pictures from his end of year party.

Last weekend we took a quick trip to VA to visit Jonathan’s grandparents and great-grandfather. We had a great time but I only managed to snag a few pictures.

Talking to Great-Great Grandad Clay

Exercising with Grandad Clay

Pirate football starts this weekend. It’s the first time in years that we didn’t get season tickets but we weren’t sure of my treatment plan or if I’d have the energy to make it to the games. So we are planning to watch the game from home. Let’s go Pirates … Aaarrrggghh!



A Week of Pintrest

As promised, here are some of the Pintrest projects that I have been working on the last couple of weeks, pictures included!!! I've managed to get 15 pins completed ... I'm halfway there but not going to meet my goal by Monday.

Funfetti Chex Mix

Aiden and I made this together and he had a blast! He brought it to school the next day to share with his friends and was so proud of himself, it was too sweet! It was so yummy and easy, I made another batch for us to keep at home.

Four Seasons Guacamole

I purchased avocados to make a different Pintrest find but ended up using them for this delicious recipe instead.

Brownie Refrigerator Cake

A couple of weekends ago, Jonathan headed to Raleigh for a guys weekend, a much needed and MUCH deserved break. Since he has such a sweet tooth, Aiden and I decided to surprise him with this cake when he got home. I changed the recipe a little bit by using chocolate cake mix instead of brownie mix and it turned out great, I may never use brownie. It's several layers of chocolate goodness so it does take some time to put together but it worth it!



My Sous Chef

Adding the ingredients





Mixing











Layer #1 - Cake



Mixing Layer #2 - Cool Whip & Cream Cheese





Layer #2

Layer #3 - Pudding

Finished!!!



Time to dig in

Salted Caramel Bars
This recipe was Jonathan's pin because he's a sucker for salty and sweet. The bars are good but hard, like break your teeth hard, probably why we still have some left. They take a while to make and set too.

Garlic Pesto Chicken with Tomato Cream Penne
I loved this recipe. It was quick, easy, and super flavorful.